2 days later and I have discovered a new meaning of tired. My mind works 10 times harder to understand when I'm being spoken to. General conversation is no problem, but I have no chance in classes, especially when technical terms are thrown out. I envy all these native speakers who sit in the school they've gone to all their life, but on the other hand this challenge is something none of them will ever comprehend. I am often reminded of the term "Antifragile" and how everyday I spend here I become more and more like the person everyone says they want to be in the future. The biggest hurdle for me is communicating, which leads to a lot of frustration, yet I heed the advice of Shad in reminding myself to change the definition of success. I expect to fail some classes for a while because I have no chance at passing when I understand nothing. Another unavoidable challenge for me is isolation. 1 month of excitement with American teens who understand my thoughts have similar interests has unexpected negative effects. I now have no access to that comfort that camaraderie can give you. Despite this: not all is terrible here. The Steinrueck family has been great in introducing me to this new town, lifestyle, and mindset. They are genuinely invested in making sure things are going well for me, which I appreciate very much. When I get caught in my thoughts, I look up and realize that 16 year old Ryan Szafran from a suburb of Dallas is walking by himself to the grocery store in Bergisch Gladbach, looking over the roofs that are older than the entire United States to see the foothills of Germany.
Comments
Post a Comment